What is wrong with my mom?

My first thought was that she's probably too busy to actually enjoy it. Also, since she finds traveling around the world a normal vacation little things that most people enjoy such as family get togethers, or holiday's seem like nothing. She can't enjoy the priceless things in life. Which also makes me think maybe she's a snobby stuck up beotch. I definitely thought this when you said she was upset that you didn't pick up the house for the cleaning lady...isn't that the cleaning lady's job?! The way you approached her with your feelings wasn't appropriate, however your feelings towards her are normal. You should have a heart to heart with her, if she's not too busy. Really let her know how her mood affects her, and when she throws out excuses such as menopause tell her that you don't understand why she'd take out anger she got from something you have no control over on you and the family. I know what you mean when you always have to be the one to apologize to make things better, I had the same problem with a family member. We didn't talk for months, and she ended up getting back in touch with me. We were both past the anger we had from being around each other, and through the part where you think "Ohh, this would be much better with _____ here". We're fine now, and the break was worth it. You should either try talking to your mother alone sometime, and if it goes terrible (or if she refuses because she's "too busy") then wait it out. Don't bother talking to her until she realizes how much you mean to her and decides to get a hold of you herself. Hire a babysitter, it will prove a point and will be less stressful. If you can't afford a babysitter definitely find a new job. Just give it time, trust me. Everything will eventually fall into place, and you will know when it's happening. If you're questionable about it...then it's not happening. But it will. It always does.